Friday, August 13, 2004
sometimes you dont know


 

Living In A Shadow

you sometimes do not know anything anymore in your life. How can you tell a friend that the guy they fell in love with cause of you that you still have a crush on them. Would the guy have a crush on you or is he just lookin for a quick lay?? Also its cause you do not want to hurt them. This is terrible maybe its just a jealousy thing? im not so sure. Wow i have not wrote in this for a while i should keep it updated but i dont ohh yeah ricky is down the drain he is going to burn in hell. god i hate him and his sister. alot of thins have been happening lately i have a couple crushes i just cant acheive them ya know? wel im out here is a song to leave for yall!

I was six years old
When my parents ran away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away
She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream


Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry-

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
Oh, my life is good
And the past in the past

I was living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
I'm living in a new day
I'm living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me

Living in, living in, living in the shadow
Living in, living in, living in a new day

Posted at 01:44 am by brighteyedlife
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Saturday, July 03, 2004
me?!?!?!

 

. . . S t u F f  a b O u t  m e . . .
Name- Jacqueline Mae McGinnis
Name sdrawkcab-  sinniGcM eaM enileuqcaJ
Birth Date- 01/18/89
Tall- 5' 8"
Contacts- nahh
Hair.Color- Brownish?
Eye.Color- Blue
Residence- Austintown, Ohio Biatch
Age- 15
Screen.Names- Fairybaby151, fairyfyne, msiBABYmsi, hotpinkpunkgrlo0o, indulgemymind018, indulgethysmind, spracklezz, independantpixie, littlesmurfhunny,  liddlesmurfbaby, oreongirl
Peircings- Hell Yeah
Shoes-  Vans
Righty.Lefty- Righty
Wearing- Pj pants slippers and ae shirt
Listning.To- Overnight Celebrity
Eating/Drinking- Popcorn Mountain Dew


. . . F r i e n d S t u F f. . .
Which one of your friends is the....
Craziest-  Me
Loudest- Amanda
Nicest- Amanda
Bitchest- Rachel, sory i still love ya
Life.Of.The.Party- Me
Prep- Jenn
Rebel- Me, Jessie, Amanda, Sara,...
Cutest- John
BestFriend.SameSex- Amanda
BestFriend.OppSex- Ricky...
Most.Popular- Jenn
Rudest- Delia, "i farted"...haha
Shyest- Delia
Dumbest-  Me
Smartest- Jessie        

Weirdest- Tim, Rachel
Best.Hair- Rachel, Kate, and Tara also AMANDAS!!!
Best.Personality- Amanda, Sara
Most.Talented- none of us are really talented, Emily....
Ghetto- Uncle Stew

Funniest- Steve
Advice.Giver- Amanda
Druggie- i only have ex druggie friends
Longest. Friend- Sara

. . . Girls /L0v3/AnD 0th3r StuFf. . .
Been.InLove- Yes
People.Uv.Told.You.Loved- Ricky, Jason, and random friends that are really close to me
People.Uv.Been.InLove.W/- Ricky, Jason
Kissed.Someone.Same.Sex- .....
What You Look For In Guys- Personality, Tall, Eyes, humor, cuddleable!!! etc,..

1st.Thing.U.Notice- Ass
Your.Type- Outgoing, Nice, likes to cuddle...
Boyfriend.Now?- Yup
Love.At.First.Sight- Sometimes
Member.Your.1st.Love?- Yes
Believe.In.Fate?- Yup
Believe.In.SoulMates?- Yup
Believe.Ull.Meet.Urs?-  I can only hope


. . . F a m i L y S t u F f. . .
Siblings- Three sisters
Parents.Names- Tim and Vickie
Sibling.Names- Shaena Amber Brittany
Parents.From- Austintown, Girard

Is Ur Family Close?- Some
Family.GetTogethers?- No..well...little ones
Do.U.Have.A.Drunk.Uncle- Yup but i still love him
Medical.Problems?- Yes
Neices.Nephews- No
Parents.Divorced- Nope
Step.Parents- Nope
Disowned.Family.Member?- No

. . . M u s ii C S t u F f. . .
Song.Bout.Your.Life-  tooo many
Most.Embarrasing.Cd.U.Own- Hilary Duff
Song.U.Hate- missy elliot "im really hott"
Singin.In.The.Shower- ALLLLL THE TIME!!!


. . . F a v 0 r i T e Z. . .
Color- Pink
Food- spinache
Song- Rascall Flatts These Days

Show- The OC
School.Subject- Math
Band/Singer- MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE
Animal- Dog
Outfit- Jeans and Hoodie
Radio.Station- 95.9
Movie- Freaky Friday
Shoes- Vans...Etnies
Cartoon- Scooby Doo
Actor- Ryan Phillipe
Actress- Mary-Kate and Ashley
Chips- Baked Lays
Drink- Water
Alchoholic.Drink- Smirnoff Twists
Holiday- Halloween
Perfume- Very Sexy For Her
Cologne- Curve
Pitza.Topping- white pizza
Jello.Flavor-    Strawberry if I will eat Jello
Lunch.Meat- turkey
Board.Game- Monopoly
Pc.Game- The Sims
Number- 625
Cereal- Kix
Comedian- George Carlin Jeff Foxworthy
Dessert- Choco Popcorn
Disney.Characters- Tinker Bell
Clothing.Store- Hot Topic, Pac-Sun, Wal-Mart
Teacher- Mroski
Childhood.Toys- Muh Baby dolls
Rollar.Coaster- ALL
Cnady.Bar- Snickers
Magazine-  Spin,  Cosmopolitan, Seventeen
Salad.Dressing- Ranch
Weekend.Shiz- PaRtIeZ
Hot.Drink- Coffee
Season- Summer
Sport.To.Watch- football
Person.To.Talk.2.Online- My Ricky...  :)
Color.Of.Your.Sheets- Black and White with pink skulls
Color.Of.Your.Walls- White
Posters.On.Your.Wall?- Fairys
Tv.In.Your.Bedroom?- Yup
Pillows.On.Your.Bed- 5
SleepWear- ;)
Fav.Pjz- ....;)
Size.Bed- Twin....
Listen.To.Music.While.Sleeping?- Rascal Flatts or the random cd in my cd player
Last.Nightmare- umm i forget
Sleep.With.Stuffed.Animals- OHH YEAH! MY PINK TEDDY
People.Can.Sleep.N.Ur.Bed- Depends who ;)
Sleeping.Positions- Stomach
Do.U.Share.Ur.Room- Yes

Do.U.Snore- No
Do.U.Drool- yeah i think
Have.A.Alarm.Clock- Yes, not plugged in though
Color.Carpet- Green
Under.Your.Bed-nuthin

. . . H a v 3 Y 0 u 3 v e R. . .
Mooned.Some1- No
Been.To.A.Foreign.Country- Canada count? lol
 Broke.A.Bone- yeah i just broke my pinky toe
Swore.At.A.Teacher- Yes
Got.In.A.Fight- Yes
Skinny.Dipping- Yes

Told.A.White.Lie- Yes
Told.A.Sworn.Secret-Yes
Used.A.Foreign.Object.To.Masterbate- NO
Been.In.A.Moshpit- YES!!!
Been.2.A.Concert- See Above
Dated.1.Of.Ur.BestFriends- Yes
Loved.Someone.So.Much.It.Made.You.Cry- Yes,
Decieved.Some1.Close- Yes
Broken.The.Law- Yes
Airplane- Yes
Firetruck-Yes
Came.Close.2.Dying- Yes
Cheated.On.A.Gf- No i date guys lol
Gave.Some1.PiggyBack.Ride- Yes
Snuck.Out.@.Nite- All The Time
So.Drunk.U.Cant.Member.Ur.Name-no! lol
Had.An.Eating.Disorder- No
Felt.Like.You.Didnt.Belong- Usually
Felt.Lyk.The.3rd.Wheel- Alot...
Smoked- yup
Drugs- No..
Do.U.Have.Ur.Tonsils- yeah
Gone.To.Camp- yeah
Won.A.Bet-yeah
Written.A.Love.Letter- nope
Gone.Out.Of.The.Way.2.B.W/.Who.U.Love- Yes
Written.A.Love.Song/Poem- Yes
Kissed.In.The.Rain- Yes it was wonderful lol
Slow.Danced.With.Some1.U.Love- Yes
Participated.In.Cyber.Sex- No
Faked.An.Orgasm.- ..yeah dont we all..     Stolen.A.Kiss- Yes haha
Won.A.Trophy- Yes
Thrown.Up.In.Public- No
Failed/Got.Held.Back- No
Perfect.Attendance- HAHAHAHAHA no
Taken.Ballet.Lessons- nahh

Attempted.Suicide-........
Cut.Yourself- ......

. . . R a n D 0 m. .
Believe.N.Aliens- no
3.Things.Next.To.Ur.Comp- chair pop and printier
Hidden.Talents- No, if I have a talent...its out there...

Movie.Star.Name- fuck if i know
Sports.U.Play- Bowling
Scariest.Movie.Uv.Seen- Gothica
Best.Movie.Uv.Seen- Freaky friday
Dumbest.Movie.Uv.Seen- sugar and spice
Do.U.Drive- Very Soon
Dream.Car- white sunfire
U.Think.Ur.Goodlooking- Sometimes
U.Think.Other.PPl.Are?- Yes
Wud.U.Skii.Dive?- No
Believe.In.BigFoot?- No
How.Many.Rooms.U.Have- 4???
Afriad.Of.Coasters- didnt we discuss this
Believe.In.God- yes
Believe.In.Satan- yes
Believe.In.Heaven-yes
Believe.In.Hell- yes
Own.A.Pool.Table- Yes
Have.A.Pool- No
Have.A.Dishwasher- yes
Have.A.Big-Screen- No
You.Like.Chocolate- Sometimes!!!
How.Many.States.You.Been.To- 3?
Wished.On.A.Shooting.Star- Yes
Carry.Weapons?- No
Your.Weakness- Sensitive
Something.You.Cant.Get.Enough.Of- love lol
3.Adj.Bout.U- smart, mature, fun
How.Many.Kids.You.Want- 2
Future.Daughters.Name- Clara jeanie alixiana smantha renee (thats one whole name Clara is the first name)
Future.Sons.Name- Ashton ryan james (ashton first name)
Ideal.Way.To.Die- sleeping, at an old age
How.U.Release.Stress- Music...write, art, amanda
R.U.Realistic- Yes
R.U.A.Strong.Person- Yes
R.U.Strong.Willed- YES!
Last.Person.To.IM.You- Cas
R.U.a.Deep.Sleeper- Not really
R.U.a.Good.Story.Teller- No
Ur.Greatest.Accomplishment- loving someone while they loved me back

Do.U.Burn.Candles- Yes...
Do.U.Do.Yoga- yes
Do.U.Tan.Easily- Yes
Wut.Is.Ur.Natural.Hair.Color- Blonde
Fillings.U.Have- 5? I think..
Cuanto.Cavities.Last.Dental.Visit-  i dunno
Worst.Feeling.In.The.World- Loneliness
Best.Feeling.In.The.World- LOVE
Half.Full.Or.Half.Empty- Half Full
Last.Thing.U.Downloaded- Twiztid the ihate everyone song
R.U.A.Likable.Person- Yes...
R.U.Inlove.Now- Pretty Much
With.Who- Ricky
When.R.U.Moving- after i get out of college sry momma



well i stole this from some one but yeah have not updated i got to go to work or else i would say more good night kids!


Posted at 03:30 pm by brighteyedlife
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Monday, June 07, 2004
hanson

I went to see *Hanson*

lol new entry wow its been awhile i have been buuuuusssy!!!! i went to see Hanson whoot whoot!! well i went with jessie rahel and tara!! they are great it was fun fun fun times!!! i got a job at alfredos i start on monday 5-close come visit me!! :) my week has been pretty pboring and beside the fact that i have not talked to ricky since last saturday how fuckin shisty?? ne whoot i can find someone lol!! congrats to brrrrrieeee for makin the fitch rifle line!! and congrats to my sister and sara for gradumatating from aushfitch!!! you only learn how to work here at aushfitch!!! i woke up this morning and my ear was swollen so my momma let me stay home isnt she sooo nice? i even have finals that i missed hahahaha!!!  im not that big of a loser! i swear!! im the only one who does not have gradumatating partys this year i think!! blahhh well ill make this short i need to get ready to go to my mama's house to go swimming then to work make sure yall come visit me!!!!


Posted at 02:44 pm by brighteyedlife
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Monday, May 31, 2004
my weekend...

This weekend had its ups and downs maybe yall would like to read lol!!!!welll heeeeerrrrreeee it goes!

friday

well friday was all right iguess lol i hung out with amanda and delia i love that lil girl sooo much ummm i went to dennys wit my momma and my cuz and martini then cleaned till 4 a.m. so i could get ready for my day out wit ricky......

saturday


got up at noon  then got ready to leave with ricky!! he came and picked em up and we went to go get jenn luc but she was nto home so we went and hung out everwhere!!! amazing!! then he came back to my house till about 11:30 ish  he  is soo sweet,,,, and he buckled my care bear i gave him in the front seat!!

sunday

woke up after an amazing night still wanting him holding me lol then i take a shower and do my makeup and hair and leave with ashley to her dads house  we got stuck in a 5 hour caride/lil trip we left at 2:30 and got home at 7:30 lol we ate spaghetti and then begged her dad for money to go camping...... me and ashley acheive our goal and get to the camp grounds safe but rained on. camping was a fun time me and my sister shaena did not fight. i finally get to bed around 4:30 am lots of parties and such around there hung out with new commers lol thats was sunday


monday

waking up after getting bit by bugs grrrrr not my night of sunshine well moonlight lol me and ash decided to go to breakfast and then we came back and went swimming i got to drive her car cause she loves me lol me and her got bored and decided to go to austintown again cause hickville sux! when we accomplish the getting home thing i find out disturbing news about ricky still dating nikki!! what the fuck?? so everything was just a lie and now im left here heartbroken but still alive. o i got new ho face clothes,



hope you know when it's late at night i hold on to my pillow tight & think of how you promised me forever i never thought that anyone could make me feel this way tell me why you're looking so confused when im the one who didn't know the truth how could you so now after all is said & done maybe i'm the one to blame but to think that you could be the one… well it didn't work out that way i wanted you right here with me but my heart is breakin' w/ every word im sayin' i gave up everything i had on something that just wouldn't last  but i refuse to cry no tears will fall from these eyes get out, right now it's too late & i can't wait for you to be gone 'cause i know about her and i wonder how i bought all the lies u said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time


Posted at 07:43 pm by brighteyedlife
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Wednesday, May 26, 2004
a lil sompin sompin


"I cry EVERY chance I get"

today was quite interesting hahahaha i got to show everyone my ho-face pictures they are great and i only fell asleep in 2 classes!!! did some artwork and talked to rick!!! gosh that boi has got me and i dont understand what it is!!!! sara took me to school she is wonderful she is going to help me figure out my medicine!!!! im tooo stupid to know how to do it!!! Tinney got me a blog fuckamajig cause i did not know how to get one!!!!!! i even got to go to walmart today and got environment safe tampons!!!! yesterday was wonderful kinda maybe not really i got to go to a protest downtown cause prez bush was there i cant stand that guy!!! but o well it was great gosh the only bad part about yesterday was jimmy bare decided it was funny to tell rickky that i was screwing him and thats just disgusting!!!so my matt and kenny are going to kill him cause they love me!!!! but i realllllly hope that my rick would he is such an amazin person and i hope that all this is not fake i can not wait for the 29th baby!!!!!!!  well after the excitement of environment safe tampons and THREE thats right three new marykate and ashley on the cover magazines i think im pooped for the day being it only 8:30!!!!! i will write more when i decide i want you people to know more about my amazing life!!!!!

I'm sorry i can't help you, i cannot keep you safe
I'm sorry i can't help myself, so don't look at me that way
We can't fight gravity on a planet that insists
That love is like falling
And falling is like this.


Posted at 05:48 pm by brighteyedlife
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
no.school


Me n rach we are definate ho faces!!! hahaha well i had no school today had a doctors appointment!!! suckers!!! this is my firrst time having one of theese thought i would give it a shot maybe someone would read it one day!!! hahaha madison from texas is soo fuckign cool!!! im going ot be racing this summer come see me!!! im so excited well no more information i oculd think of for today oo wait yeah im going to a protest today about president bush!! this is great!! well im out someone read this lol!

Posted at 09:50 am by brighteyedlife
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.Jackie.Sprax.BabyGirl.Jax.FlapJack.. .Austintown.. .Student.. .HearthrobinDaBoi.. .Girl..


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